“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I have thought a lot about being bullied. Now that I’m much older and past the phase or the opportunity, I wonder how I would react now knowing more about life. It is a scary traumatizing experience.
A bully will always confront his or her victim in a public place. By far this is junior and high school. One-on-one confrontations are not in the bully category. A bully will always have people backing him up, always.
The bully will provoke and taunt. He will tell you to fight like a man. He will call you a fag or Jew or communist. He will shove you some. He will do anything he can, trying to find that button that will set you off. All he needs to see is your resolve and then and only then will he kick your ass in front of everyone. Asked later, he might say, “He looked at me funny.”
If he can not provoke you and you walk away, you are now a coward and a No Good Shit. Every student now has allowance to push, trip, toss french fries on your tray; anything to continue to belittle you. You have lost if you walk away from a bully.
The fight will be brief. The bully will fully dominate you in 20 seconds and it is over.
Fight Like a Man
There is a skewed sense of fairness. Never is it questioned that the bully is six inches taller, 30 pounds heavier and likely a trained athlete. The caveman solved this problem 150,000 years ago; he picked up a club and bashed his fucking brains out.
It is considered unfair to “be a man” by using a tool, the very thing that excepts us from being animals. Pulling out a bat, dropping to one knee and swinging — taking out the knee of the star quarterback is not acceptable to anyone even if I am defending myself.
How about a tazer then? Or mace? Or a roll of quarters in my fist? It is considered cheating and unfair. The rules are there and they don’t make sense.
The worse is the bully on the football team and it is typically that. This bully feels the support of his team and his school. His coach will shrug and say “boys will be boys”. And the victim dare not win. Even if I were versed in karate or boxing, if I best the bully there is no winning, ever.
I’ve imagined the conversation that I’d have with the Vice Principal. Does it not make sense that I’d use a tool to protect myself? It would be horrifying to hear that conversation from me. I am threated, would not a Reasonable Man defend himself by any means necessary? The potential for the escalation of violence is extraordinary.
The Threat of Terror
I have even thought of writing letters to the Mayor, the Editor of the city newspaper and the Principal … of another school. And I’d demand that the bullying be stopped or it would be considered an Act of War. Psychological terrorism on a bully does sound delicious, doesn’t it? When you CC the right people, they are forced to talk to each other and have to do their jobs.
And Yet, Flip It Around
Have you ever seen a flock of birds on the ground? One of the bigger birds will suddenly attack a smaller bird! Trounce him into submission. A pack of dogs will do the same thing. Apes will do it too. The rest of the group never intervene, ever. I’ve seen fathers suddenly smack their sons.
The Bully is an Animal
He would be offended, but the bully can not help himself. To bully is an animal act. Like any pack or herd, there is a pecking order. The bully is moved beyond his own understanding to pick a runt and dominate until the soft belly is offered. He can not stop himself.
The Bully Brings Peace
Oddly, the bully is necessary to a high school. He keeps the peace. A strong understood pecking order keeps the others from acting up, fighting for dominance or being subversive to the group.
The Anti-Bully Campaign
I’m aware. I’ve been told that kids don’t bully in school any more. I don’t know how it can go away; it is in our DNA.