The Devil’s Dictionary and WoW

SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author’s enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.
Ambrose Beirce

Ambrose Beirce was a newspaper writer in the 1880s. Sometimes in his columns he would write a funny definition for a word. In 1901, all of the definitions were collected into what was called The Devil’s Dictionary. If you are interested, you can read it for free at Project Gutenberg.

I thought that it would be fun to pull some of the words that we use in the World of Warcraft and post them. I hope that you find it as fun as I do.

ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

CONGRATULATION, n. The civility of envy.

ECONOMY, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees on vacant lots in London—”Rubbish may be shot here.”

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, a one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises

KILL, v.t. To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called “trousers” by the enlightened and “pants” by the unworthy.

Okay, that’s enough for now. These things need to be enjoyed in small doses.