Wait, Why Would You?

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”
Mark Twain

Wait, why would you?
That’s right, you don’t know why I would. You don’t know my motivations, fears, desires. What is obvious to you may not be to me. Clear choices are not always that clear.

An example.
You walk outside of a market and see a man hitting a woman. An angry man and a fearful woman, they are probably husband and wife. What do you do? Intervene? Call the cops? Yell at him to stop? He is hitting her, for heaven’s sake!

But, in 90% of the world, it is important for a man to “correct” his wife. You might justify your outrage with phrases like “common decency” but in that man’s world it would be indecent to not correct her. If he doesn’t then she’ll continue wrong behavior and civilization will fall apart.

What this means is: you are wrong. Your world view is so narrow it only lines up with 10% of the planet. Even as you read this, you don’t feel wrong, do you? You know you are right — but you are not, you are wrong. Pisses you off, doesn’t it? You might say “I am more progressive than those heathens” or “I am more advanced”. Trust me, you’ll say all those things and more … especially when you are wrong.

What is happening.
We are all going through growing pains. Sixty years ago, everyone worked at the factory; you knew what your neighbor did and had the same common ground, ethics, morals and world view. Everyone in your world had the same culture, church and standards.

Today, via the internet, television, movies, books and travel, we are exposed to a very wide range of viewpoints. What is an obvious course of action to you may not be the same to me and that might be exasperating to you. Even more, all the far reaching cities are seeing a broader view point too and it doesn’t jive with their own stand. Mark Twain would love it.

The world does not see the same reality that you do. You are unique. I may be fucked up, crazy and an asshole and I’m looking at you like you suck at life. It’s mind-boggling. You and I are being played too; our world view of what is right and wrong is letting others reach right into our wallets as we are suckered for our sentiment, fears, values, beliefs and so much more. We are naive suckers, marks.
Wait, why would you?
All of the above is leading up to something that is pretty weak, really.

I have not finished Kun-Lai Summit.

There are only a handful of quests left in Kun-Lai and I could go skate through them on my geared level 100 character. But I don’t. To you, it’s obvious that I should. Why would I not? It’s undone! Finish it!

I’m afraid, that’s why. I’m afraid I’ll run out of World of Warcraft and have nothing to do. I’ll be reduced to 500,000 kills in PvP; the horror! Everywhere throughout my game I have left some little bits undone. Close on so very many but I don’t always want to run the list.

What is obvious to you may not be so obvious to me. My reasons almost never line up with yours. If I’m unlucky, some fuck will hang a label on it (OCD) so it can be dismissed with no exploration of what is underneath it all. You may think you are open-minded, but your version of reality is extremely narrow.

Play nice.

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Felblight — 6.2

Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.
Jimmy Cannon

Felblight — 6.2 Patch of Doom

•Two new ranks of upgrades have been added to Warlords Crafted items, “Mighty” for rank 5 at item level 700, and “Savage” for rank 6 at item level 715.
•Crafting the new upgrade items requires Felblight, a new reagent that can be obtained from Fishing, Herbalism, Mining, or Skinning in Tanaan Jungle.

I sure wish I could go enjoy the Timeless Tanaan Jungle. However, the day the patch arrives; you’ll find me … fishing. Yes, fishing.

I’ll need 30 Felblight for my first upgrade and 30 MORE for my second upgrade.

And then, I’ll do the same freaking thing upgrading my other crafted piece.

And I have an alt with these wonderful crafted items (I’ll need 60 more).

Fishing up 120 Felblight is a heart-breaker.

What is your best guess? 20 hours of “game play”?

Garrison Fail Commander

Lord, what fools these immortals be.

I’m a little embarrassed.

I was in a hurry when I arrived on Draenor and built my Garrison on low ground. It is down hill and an easy mark for any roving band. Everyone knows that you build a castle on a hill, higher ground and all that defensive stuff. Not me, I didn’t even put up a gate, moat or drawbridge.

The invasions take place inside my Garrison, shameful I know. I am a horrible commander, I put my bank right by the front door! Any wise king would put all that gold down in the basement of the Town Hall. I don’t even have a basement! I tried to order some Siege Cannons from Thogar but he seems to be having problems with his trains these days.

It’s not just that I suck at defending my Garrison, all the invasions are inside, I spend most of my day getting drunk with Pat Nagle and fishing the afternoon away. He doesn’t know that I’ve been stacking Leech and am enjoying his fine stock of booze.

I’m putting on weight from all this drinking. It all started in Pandaria and not listening to my Master Cho. He kept saying “slow down” when I was chugging a Pandarian Stout. Now, it is a daily thing with Nat Pagle. One time, I caught a squid and knew it’d be hilarious to wear it as a hat! The suckers on the tentacles pulled out my hair and I have red splotches on my head. I’m now a fat, drunk and bald hero with no where to go.

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve become a bit of a tyrant. I bang on my mission table, “more gold”! I’m soaking this planet and my greed is making me rich. Even though I don’t have to leave my Garrison.

I learned a new recipe and it’s addicting. It’s called Sleeper Sushi. I can fish it up right next to Pat Nagle in my Garrison. Its not like I’m going anywhere. It claims to offer 25 more Mastery than a Savage Feast. Since I’m eating for one, that’s good. But it seems to add plus 25 pounds to my ass.

Pepe tells me that we’ll be invading the Tanaan Jungle next. But it is months away. There is no hurry, I’ll just hang out in my Garrison again tomorrow. Bald, fat, drunk and slowly getting rich. Yesterday I put on my x-ray gnomish glasses to check out the guards.

They call me King Leer behind my back.

Old Commander Wrathsome
Thought he was handsome
Sat in his Garrison all day.
And on occasion
Fought an Invasion
Then fished the day away.
With Pat he’ll be fishing
Followers on a gold mission
Lets enjoy another pay day.
Old Commander Wrathsome
Thought he was handsome
Sat in his Garrison all day.


Shape Shift Toys and Mounts

You’re in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.
Dr. Seuss

Mounts and Shape Shifting Toys

I went through all of the toys that I had which give a shape-shift. Some of the toys allow you to keep your shape, others drop the shape while mounted but return when you are back on the ground (un-mounted).

Here is a list of Shape Shifting Toys that keep your shape.

  • Gnomeregan Pride
  • Hozen Beach Ball
  • Kalytha’s Haunted Locket
  • Mr Smite’s Brass Compass
  • Vrykul Drinking Horn
  • Gamon’s Braid
  • Iron Buccaneer’s Hat
  • Krastinov’s Bag of Horrors
  • Leyara’s Locket
  • Manastorm’s Duplicator
  • Moon Fang Shroud
  • Moroes’ Famous Polish (gonna be nekkid)
  • Orb of Deception
  • Orb of the Sin’Dorei
  • Rime of the Time-Lost Mariner
  • Robo-Gnomebulator

Frankly, I’m pleased at how many shape shifting toys we get!

Here is a list of toys that will lose their shape when you mount up.

  • Time-Lost Figurine
  • Goren Garb
  • Iron Boot Flask
  • Moonfang’s Paw
  • Ring of Broken Promises
  • Wisp Amulet

That is all the Shape-Shifting toys that I have, I’m sure more will come along.
Remember: Toys that are best used are macro’d!



Passion in the Arts

“Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.”
― Charles Bukowski

A man of passion.

I can never decide if I am passionate about something. When I was chasing my career, people assumed that I was passionate about the work when, really, I was simply very good at doing it.

However, I do admit to being ‘deeply interested’ in some things. You can all it a passion if you choose. I define them by knowing that if I found someone else with similar intesests; I’d buy them a drink and talk their ear off.

My Deep Interests:
The music of David Bromberg
The poetry of Charles Bukowski
The choreography of Jiri Kylian
The Anita Blake series by Laurell K Hamilton
The World of Warcraft
The Old West (say 1830 to 1875)

Those are my passions.

Why I bring this up is that by having the above, I am honored to be the audience of someone who has a passion and would love to have the chance to expound. If you were a fan of Indian Motorcycles; I’d have all sorts of questions to get you going. I’d love to learn about Wagner opera and knitting. People love gardening, something I can’t imagine but they know all about it and are willing to teach me (ALL about it!).

One time I sat in a coffee shop in 1972 and this guy told me the entire Lord of the Rings story. It took about two hours, three pots of coffee and one fat joint.

(Scary music soundtrack) We have a christian in our guild. We had no idea for weeks and weeks, he ‘behaved’ himself. But one night he mentioned it and I began to draw him out.

People began dropping from vent; click, click, click.

They didn’t want to hear it, I don’t blame them. However we ended up with four people on vent well into the night, letting this guy go off.

I loved it.

I’d leave him talking and go get two beers at a time. I’d come back and he’s still going. Mercy.

I told him that I felt that christians have a bad rap because they are one of the few religions that feel the need to foist their shit onto everyone else. If you say you are a christian, most people will step back; wary.

But, my main point is that I really enjoyed giving this guy an opportunity to revel in his field. If you are passionate about something, I am willing to listen.

I might even learn something.





Warlords of Draenor – The Truth

Pontius Pilate: And what is ‘truth’? Is truth unchanging law?
We both have truths. Are mine the same as yours?

Jesus Christ Superstar

Warlords of Draenor – The Truth

Stop for a second. Imagine that you just bought the expansion to Warlords of Draenor today. You’d played some of the past expansions and thought you’d give this a test drive. You’d be totally happy, engaged, curious and satisfied.

The struggle that many of the players have with this expansion (no content) is that they jumped into it on the first day and ate everything up in one stoned out binge. They ate all of Shadowmoon Valley in a day like a package of Oreos. They ripped through Talador like tearing through a bucket of KFC. Stoned out binge playing. I’d even ask: do they remember any of it?

If you were to start today, all of the pieces would make sense. You’d be leveling up, exploring the land and lore. You’d be discovering treasures without a map or addon. Once you dinged 100, you’d have a garrison and dungeons and two full LFR wings to gear up, mat up and get rich.

Now that we look back, brushing the crumbs off of our face, we know the treasures were not that great. It wasn’t worth it to go get them ALL. They were meant to be found with surprise; a little extra bit tucked in some corner. But we got greedy and used up everything all in a day. And we cry that there isn’t more to do.

The truth is that we do this every expansion. Our guild master wants to raid Day One that the wing opens. We raced to get to level and have the gear we needed (630 was our start for High Maul normal) and have buff foods, flasks, pots, gems and enchants.

The truth is that we look back on expansions and remember when we were OP, Over Powering at the end of an expansion and we loved it. We loved being strong enough to solo once feared content or rare boss. We loved the casual way we smoothly ran through the last raid, generously taking a lowbie through for gear. We were gods.

We have a couple of veteran players in our guild. They are just now willing to raid with us. They let us do all the progression, the choreography, the learning curves for each boss. They’ll join now and enjoy raiding. Smart guys.

The truth is that we are pigs. The game designers have it all mapped out over the arc of an expansion which means time-based design. They know where we are going (and some are working on the next expansion), the puzzle pieces exist. One doesn’t get a WoW expansion completed; it comes in pieces and patches with a cliff-hanging story arc. We pigged out on the available content and seem surprised that we ate it all yesterday and are hungry for more.

Go on a WoW diet. It’s a good game and a good franchise.



Make Love Make Warcraft

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
Theodore Roosevelt

I have a big Number.

I’m still amazed at players who obsess on their big Number. It’s not the size of the numbers, it’s how you use it. Sure, sure, sure; we all like big Numbers. We’ve even downloaded tools to measure out big Numbers and publicly display them.

So very gauche.

I was in a LFR Brackenspore and at the end of the fight, some jive kid posted his Recount for all to see. He had a huge Number. However, on a closer look, he was banging Brackenspore exclusively; no spore shooters, no wild mushrooms, not even the big add that needs interrupts. We know that some interruptions can lead to better endings.

People who post their big Number for all to see only satisfy themselves.
They are boring to everyone else and even moreso, won’t be invited back.

That is when you know you have your groove on. When you get that tentative invite two days later to come do it again. You were a stud.

I heal with a paladin. As a pally healer, he is naturally devastatingly handsome with a fine dry wit. Myself, a down-to-earth Druid have my own winning charm and public grace. He obsesses on my big Number. He wants his Number to be as big as mine and he’s not even in my same class!

Dude, they love what we are doing to them. They want us to come back again tomorrow and do it to them again.

If someone called me out in a public forum and called me a failure; told me I could not play my class and that my Number was not big enough — I’d not play with them: and they can just go play with themselves and admire their own big Number all alone, as usual. Because, I get invited back.

There are times when we should be proud of our big Number.
When the raid leader says “Pop Hero”.